Skip to main content

Choosing a New School for your Child on the Spectrum

Unless you were lucky enough to enrol your kids in a school which streams kids all the way from kindergarten to college and you remain in the same geographic area throughout these years, you will probably be faced with the prospect of selecting a new school at some point in your child's education.

It's not an easy choice to make under any circumstances but with a child on the autism spectrum, things are a little more complicated.

In this post, I hope to take you through some of the factors that you need to consider;


Qualities of the School

The size of the school is always a difficult choice because on the one hand, you tend to think that your child is less likely to get lost in a smaller school. That the teaching staff will pay more attention to your child and that class sizes will be smaller, allowing more"one-on-one" teaching. There's also the fact that smaller schools aren't so overwhelming for your child. 

Unfortunately though,  smaller schools help your child to be noticed by more than just teachers. Smaller schools seem to attract more bullying issues than larger ones - and they have less places to hide. Smaller schools often have more crowded classrooms than their larger counterparts because there is a lot more pressure on them to accept "just one extra child" in the class.

Larger schools can offer more in terms of lasting friendships because although kids with Autism or Asperger's syndrome can be friends with anyone, "like tends to attract like" and often the best friendships are with other children who are similarly "outcast" or who have similar drives and interests. If you consider that autism rates are currently thought to be around one in eighty-eight and that average class sizes are about  thirty pupils, this means that in a school with two streams (60 kids per year) there is a probability of only one or two kids with autism compared to about three or four in a four stream school. It might not seem like a big deal but in a school catering for six years, this also means the difference between catering for the needs of 12 versus 24 kids with autism.  It means that larger schools are significantly better resourced and that their teaching staff are likely to be much more experienced with autism.

Another point in favour of larger schools is that they often have more diverse subjects, particularly in areas such as woodwork, photography, cookery, and metalwork which require more space and specialised equipment. This means that your child has better chance of finding subjects which pique their special interest. Also, if you child is not academically inclined then a school which has subjects covering trades would be beneficial.  

Different schools have different priorities and focus.  Some schools are very academically focussed which means that if your child is bright, they will flourish.  Of course, you need to bear in mind that schools with this kind of focus are often picky about their students and if you have other children who are less academically inclined, there is a good chance that the school may not accept them. You need to decide whether it is important to you that both of your children to attend the same school. 

Some schools pride themselves on sporting rather than academic achievements.  If you child isn't very sporty, then no matter how academically inclined they are, they may feel out of place.  Some schools are way too focussed on their own reputation and will attempt to suppress the results of children who under-perform. You can usually spot the schools from their reports but sometimes it's not obvious until you get a note home saying that your child doesn't need to sit for a particular exam. 

No matter what, the key is to understand the school, the size, facilities and their teaching aims.


Personal Factors

There are lots of personal factors to consider as well when changing schools;

You need to take into account your child's existing friendships. Your child may not necessarily talk about "friends" but that doesn't mean that your child isn't comfortable with those familiar faces. Before you risk taking these away, you need to assess their value to your child. 

The other side of the coin however is all about "enemies". These are generally bullies or children who simply do not want to associate with your child. If you child feels disturbed by these "enemies" then perhaps a change of schools would be a good thing. 

If your child is transferring to a new school in order to attend higher classes, then presumably the rest of the year-group will be transferring as well. Encourage your child to talk to their friends about where they're transferring to and you should talk to the teachers too.  You'll then be able to decide whether to go to the same school to retain friends or to go to an entirely different school to start afresh. If your child has been the victim of bullies, sometimes starting at a new school in a different area is a very good idea. 

Another thing to consider is whether to send your child to a co-ed or single-gender school.  Some schools are single-gender until the last two years of schooling too. There have been studies which show that girls under-perform in co-ed schools because they're distracted by the boys but that boys over-perform in the same environment.  Depending upon your child's gender and academic disposition, you may want to consider this when selecting a school.  

Of course, the other gender consideration for children with Asperger's syndrome is "relationships". Kids with Aspergers are notoriously poor at initial relationships and have a great deal of difficulty talking to people of different genders. Sending your child to a co-ed school could provide a great deal of social experience which could reduce problems on the dating scene in later years. 

Distance and transport are also important things to consider.  If public transport is involved, you will need to determine whether your child can safely negotiate the trips and ensure that if they miss a train or bus, that they can catch another one. If your child is very impulsive, for example, trains may not be good idea.


Home or Distance Schooling.

I would strongly recommend that parents do not send children with Asperger's syndrome to boarding schools as these make it difficult to monitor them.  Children with Asperger's syndrome need adults that they can trust to put their interests first. In particular, situations such as meltdowns really need parents to intervene on a direct level. Boarding schools tend to deal with these issues internally and will often "cover up" the events.

The other option, home schooling, is particularly suitable for children with Aspergers.  Of course, if you choose to home school, you will need to talk to other parents who are doing this to find out the best methods as surprisingly, they don't involve simply sitting down with books and doing tutorials. Home schooling is very hard work and it's not a commitment that you should undertake without due consideration.

Whatever path you follow, changing schools is not a simple matter. I hope this this post gives you a few things to look out for. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Aspie Myths - "He Won't Miss Me"

I apologise for the excessive "male-orientated" viewpoint in this post. I tried to keep it neutral but somehow, it just works better when explained from a male viewpoint. Here's a phrase that I've seen repeated throughout the comments on this blog on several occasions; "I know that he won't miss me when I'm gone because he's aspie" Today, we're going to (try to) bust that myth; Individuals I'll start off with a reminder that everyone is an individual. If all aspies were completely alike and predictible, they'd be a stereotype but they're not. Each is shaped by their background, their upbringing, their beliefs and their local customs. An aspie who grew up with loud abusive parents has a reasonable chance of becoming loud and abusive themselves because in some cases, that's all they know. That's how they think adults are supposed to behave. In other cases, aspies who grew up in those circumstances do a complete about-fa

Why Do Aspies Suddenly Back-Off in Relationships? (Part 1)

One of the most frequent questions I'm asked is why an aspie (or suspected aspie) suddenly goes "cold" and backs off on an otherwise good relationship. It's a difficult question and the answers would vary considerably from one person to another and would depend greatly on the circumstances. Nevertheless, I'll try to point out some possibilities. Negative Reasons I generally like to stay positive on this blog and assume that people are not necessarily "evil" but simply misguided. Unfortunately, I do have to acknowledge that there are some people out there who take advantage of others. I read a book a few years ago on "sociopaths in the workplace" and I was stunned by the figures. They suggested that sociopaths were so common that most workplaces (small business) had at least one or two. The fact is that there are lots of people out there who really feel very little for others and who are very manipulative. I'd like to say that aspies aren

Why do Aspies Suddenly Back Off in Relationships (Part 2)

In part one, we looked at the role that Change Resistance plays in causing aspies to suddenly go "cold" in otherwise good relationships. This time, I want to look at self esteem and depression; Self Esteem The aspie relationship with themselves is tedious at best. People with Asperger's commonly suffer from low self esteem. As discussed in earlier posts, this low self esteem often results from years of emotional turmoil resulting from their poor social skills. Aspies are often their own worst enemy. They can over analyze situations and responses in an effort to capture lost nonverbal communication. This often causes them to invent problems and to imagine replies. Everything made up by aspies will tend to be tainted with their own self image. This is one of reasons that people with Asperger's will sometimes decide that they are not good enough for their partner and that they must let them go. Sometimes, the aspie will develop a notion of chivalry or self-sacrific